I’m quite certain there will be thoughts and questions running through some minds wondering what in the world we are thinking by having another baby and actually being thrilled about it. We already know that some think we are crazy for having “so many children” but I think because our daughter died just three months ago, some will think us insane! :)
No, we aren’t trying to replace Addison. No child is replaceable. It’s not even possible.
No, we don’t think God was trying to tell us something by taking Addison to heaven before we were ready. He is God. He is fully capable of not allowing me to become pregnant if that is what He wants. He also doesn’t play guessing games – making us wonder what His will is.
No, we aren’t fearful. Yes, there will be times when fear will come but we know that the Lord will carry us and alleviate that fear.
Yes, we could have another miscarriage – we’ve already had five. Yes, we could have another stillbirth – we've already had one. Yes, we could lose one of our other children.
Do you see where I’m going? There is always a chance that we will lose a baby, or a toddler, or a preteen, or a teen, or each other. There are no guarantees. We choose to live our lives in the now and be thankful that we have each other and our children. Living with fear and doubt doesn’t do anything but waste precious time.
Luke was born six weeks early almost nineteen years ago. He was in the hospital for three weeks after he was born. If we would have decided against having more children just because of that then we would be without all these other blessings God has given us!
There are always “what ifs” but because we serve Jesus we trust Him with everything. Our children included. They don’t belong to us anyway. They are His.
So we are thanking God for another blessing! Praying that He will allow us to keep this baby.
He gave us the desire of our hearts and for that we are so grateful.